Sin in Linen Nightshade Black and White Vine Print Fabric Shower Curtain 100% Cotton Sateen 300 Thread Count

One time, a long time ago, someone created sliced bread. This amazing individual went on to create the internet, solar power and nanobots. His or her ancestors probably invented fire and the wheel during their lunch hour.

Whoever this individual was... they are not as epic as this shower curtain.

I was recently stalking my ex wife and noticed she had this epic shower curtain in her bathroom. Now, I know there was probably man-dna not mine all over it, and at first that irritated me until I realized the greater sin:

She has blasphemized Epic Shower Curtain.
This was unacceptable.

I immediately donned my favorite wife beater (aptly named) and a sawed off .22, jumped out on the ledge of our buildings and shimmied down the drainpipe to the fire escape below. There she was: I peered in through the bathroom window and saw her primping and washing her face. No doubt to remove the remains of whatever man dna didn't foul Epic Shower...Read more